Adventures in the John Wayne Airport

I'm home in California for my Christmas vacation. Before my dad starts using me as free slave labor, I thought I would regale you all with a tale of my adventures in the John Wayne Airport. As with any good adventure, I will start it off as any good story should be started...So there I was, casually walking down the baggage claim section of the airport, trying to find my baggage carousel. The sun was shining, and the wind blowing outside. Apparently some people's private wind was blowing inside too. Ladies and Gentlemen, I was the victim of crop dusting. For those not familiar with the term, its when somebody breaks wind and then walks around spreading their toxic fumes. I know who the culprit was given the fact there was only one person walking in front of me at the time. It was a short, portly, blonde woman wearing a pink velour track suit. Disrespectful. Immediately I grimaced because there is no point in hiding my emotions when falling victim to such acts. As soon as she turned toward a different carousel the smell disappeared, which only further my validation of who it was. Sweetheart, your farts don't smell of roses so please keep them to yourself or in the privacy of your car. Be aware of your surroundings and the people standing less than 10 feet behind you. Had I been holding a can of febreeze I would have sprayed you like I would my roommates.
That being said I have also dispelled the myth that women don't fluff (a term my dad was use.)
Well all of that aside, Merry Christmas everyone!

Dream on! (Read it like Aerosmith, you will feel that much cooler)

Maybe its because I have been taking nyquil before bed, or maybe its because I just have an awesome imagination, but lately I have been waking up having had some crazy awesome dreams. The kicker is that I can't remember them five minutes after being awake. My little sister Alyson used to always google dream interpretations to try and found out the meaning of hers. Whenever she would tell me her dream I would just find ways to interpret her dreams that she is secretly a lesbian. She doesn't tell me her dreams anymore ha ha. But enough about her, I love that I have been having cool dreams. Psychologically I don't know what any of them mean, nor do I know why I can't remember the details of them, but I am just glad I wake up feeling refreshed and that I didn't pull an Andre the Giant and just not wake up at all....(Andre the giant is the big dude in The Princess Bride for those who are not familiar with their pro wrestler history. And seriously, he died in his sleep which is why I even mentioned him anyway. Come to think of it, that is an awful way to end a blog post so instead Ill let the last thing you read be MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!)

101 Arabian Nights

It is not uncommon for people to tell me I look Jewish or Middle Eastern. In Russia, people would always ask me if I was a jew, but then were somehow very disappointed when I told them I was Mormon. My sister-in-law always calls me ER-ab-IC which when said correctly sounds like arabic. Its a rather clever play on my name. Not too long ago I grew out a 3 week beard and I was told that I looked like a young moses (very famous jew). Not too long ago I sported a fake mustache for a christmas card photo and looked more middle eastern then ever thought possible. Ill share the Christmas card photos later, but in the mean time, enjoy Arabian/Jewish Eric....

I plead the 5th

The title of this post won't make sense until later. Its really meant to be a description of the location of Today's event. SO, for those who aren't familiar, I gave up eating sugar and carbs a little over a year ago and did it for a solid 3-4 months. Eventually, I started to eat carbs again, but I still hardly ever eat sugar. Well today I decided to eat a box of Hostess Donnettes.....almost the whole box that is. Fast forward 20 minutes and my stomach was not happy with me. Let me preface this next part by saying that I work in a building with 5 floors plus a basement. Anyway, at 10:30 am I decide to head to the basement bathroom for a little bit of privacy...no luck, all the stalls were being used. I head to the first floor, all being used. The second floor, all being used. The 3rd floor, all being used. I refused to go to the 4th floor because thats where our Tech Support people work and frankly they are gross, so I skipped to the 5th floor and found 1 stall available. The 5th floor is where all the executives for the company work. Well after I took care of some stuff I flushed the toilet only to then have it clog on me. So there I am using the executive bathroom and I plugged up the toilet. So what did I do? I quickly washed my hands and ran back down to my desk on the second floor......I am praying there are no security cameras outside the bathroom, I choose to hide from my problems ha ha ha......crap! (pun!!)

ps. even the 5th floor uses single ply toilet paper here, and I hate them for that.....man up and by some Charmin people

bulls eye

I am a child at heart. If this is surprising to you, then you clearly don't know me. I quote a friend when I say, I am child-like, not childish though. I believe there is a difference. However, because of my frugality of maturity, I like to be entertained. At work we recently moved office buildings. In the old office I had two nerf guns I kept in my file cabinet. I called them "motivational tools". Randomly throughout the day, I would shoot the screens of my sales people when they least suspected it, they would stick to the monitor and I would laugh thinking I am funny. When we moved buildings I decided to leave the motivational tools at home.....until recently. A couple of friends showed me that if you have 1/2" PVC pipe, the perfect size for a nerf dart, you can make a homemade blowgun...which I did. The longer the pipe, the more velocity. I brought a 3ft pipe to work and a handful of darts, except the darts I use now have a small whistle to them. These suckers fly fast and super accurate. The best part is because the pipe is so unsuspecting, I can quickly pull it out, shoot someone, and hide it before they know what hit them. They actually sting too which is added fun. I have shot consultants, other managers, and the QA director. Today I saw a senior manager in the distance looking away from my direction. Against my better judgement, I loaded up my gun and fired at his back....full speed. I kid you not, 3ft before it hit him square in the shoulder blades, the possessed dart all of a sudden lifted and ended up nailing him square in the head. He is bald and that thing left a mark right on his shiny dome....I'm thinking I will need to find a new "motivational" tool at work

Story time

So the last post I made was really just a joke to bug a friend. Here is the actual post I wanted to make today, and its a 2 for 1 special. Since I am a fan of reading when there are pictures, I made sure to do spot on sketches of each one.
Story #1: I almost ran over a guy on a bike
So there I was, driving in my man-jetta the other night with my roommate. It was late in the evening and we were going to get a late night burrito. I stopped at a stop sign just two block west of my apartment. I look left and right, see nobody coming, and proceed to go through the intersection...while half way though it, my roommate yells "BIKE BIKE BIKE" I slam on my break and 3 feet in front of my is a stupid kid wearing all black and gray clothes, riding a black colored bike with no reflectors, staring at me like a pissed off deer in the head lights. Now normally I would think the kid would be justified in his anger since he almost got run over, however, what an IDIOT! who rides their bike through an intersection when they are wearing all black and are at a poorly lit intersection. The dumb kid darted out from behind a car and there was no way for me to have seen him coming. So basically, I don't feel bad having almost committed vehicular homicide.

This is basically identical to the situation except he kid had almost all black clothes. The grey spots on the corner and top are the sidewalk :)

Story #2: My personality turns off women
I might have told this before, but I still think its funny. So there I was (by the way, every great story should start with "so there I was") at my old job, a call center, sitting around talking to a few friends. I was teasing them that they were my older brother's age but that they still had the same job as me. At the time I was just working on my bachelors degree so it was fun to tease them. One of the guys, having met my brother before, started to tease me by saying that my brother also was married and had his first kid when he was my age. THEN suddenly, out of nowhere, this women slowly rolls out of her cubical and into view, and says to me, "Eric, maybe because you joke around a lot, and aren't always serious, well maybe its your personality that turns off girls." She then slid back into cubicle and out of view. I was speechless. Firstly, who says crap like that, secondly, the way she popped in and out of the conversation was just crazy. It kind of reminded me of how Jon Lovitz disappears in this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK8vVk4_n2Q

I look pretty handsome in this drawing right?

Robbie Hughes and Plagarism

So my friend Robbie also has a blog about random stuff. He told me he was going post a certain youtube video about a girl dancing with a sword. Mostly to bug him, I am going to post it first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcs3OwrkcR4

However, if you want to see his random thought blog, you can go here: Robbie's Blog
And to Robbie I say; in your face, I was first!

The Law of Attraction

WARNING: This was a long blog venting session
Let me just say that this time last year I had the same amount of workload with life, church, school, and work but was a lot happier...not sure why the change, or why I feel so constantly stressed. Because of that, I have been up since 7am on a Saturday morning (again) and I keep having to do stuff to keep busy or I feel like I'm going to explode. That being said, my train of thoughts brought me to this topic: Attraction. Lately people keep asking me about my dating life, and I will admit that the dating pool isn't too full this monthly, however, a big part of that is by choice, a lot by circumstance. I don't have a type of girl I am looking for, I have dated blondes, brunettes, red heads, older, and younger, but it all comes back to the point that there are just certain girls I am attracted to and some that I am not. And since that narrows the field, of those I am attracted to, there are only so many that will in return be attracted to me. Now I want to preface this next part by saying that I genuinely respect all women, regardless of my relationship with them. I place all women on a pedestal, and feel like all men should. That being said, I digress; I once jokingly had a conversation with a group of female friends about how guys place girls in 1 of 3 categories: A. Just friends, B. Kiss but not date, C. Date-able. Female family members don't have a category because they are family and this isn't the backwoods of Alabama. I know the categories sounds shallow, but most younger single guys would agree with it. And in all fairness this conversation took place while they were having me rate the attractiveness of some women in a wedding catalog (that in itself is its own story). I am honestly not a fan of category B because I think too many guys use it and use women for it. Now at least in my perspective, category A isn't a bad place though. Some of my closets friends are my female friends. I would gladly give up most of my guy friends for them because they mean a lot to me. Many of those women are probably reading this blog post. And a few of them were there for the conversation about the categories too. Anyway, I bring this up because I was talking to my mom about my dating life and then it hit me: Oh my gosh, women probably think the same thing about me! I am probably in 1 of 3 categories for them too: Friend, Hookup, date-able. I immediately felt bad for any women I have ever objectified because I felt like a piece of meat and it was weird ha ha ha. Thinking about this further though, I realized that for every girl I ever broke up with or wasn't attracted to, there is/was another guy out there who was and appreciated her for the things I did not, and I am happy for them. On the opposite end, for every girl who has broken up with me, or wasn't attracted to me, I know that there is going to be another girl that I find at some point who will appreciate me and be attracted to my different qualities. Its sad to see girls who chase after guys, but the guys don't appreciate them for their unique qualities. I think everyone needs and can find someone who will adore them and be attracted to them for all of their unique attributes, whether it be physical or personality based. So despite the fact that I get harassed for my dating life right now, I know that there is someone out there for me who will be attracted to me and care enough about me to put me on a pedestal, just like I know I will do for them. Although, Ill always put them on a higher pedestal because that's just how I roll.

This blog is long enough, but just know there is a story coming about how a woman at work once told me my personality turns off women....also I am 7 years clean from cancer this year...SUCK IT CANCER

Thacker Urban Dictionary

Long-suffering- Having to deal with a bunch of crap all the while managing to keep a smile on your face.

Patience- Sitting around waiting for other people to figure out what you already know to be true.

The Rule of three- A principle in writing that suggests that things that come in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, more effective than other number of things.

Sacrifice and Manliness

Sometimes I look at the website, "The Art of Manliness." The first time I found it, I was randomly googling zombies and guns (it was a conversation I was having with my brother) and I came upon an article that talked about turning a shotgun into the ultimate survival weapon...Today I looked up the website and was just looking at random articles and I came upon one about sacrifice. I like the message it carried, so I thought I would share the link.
http://artofmanliness.com/2011/07/17/the-law-of-sacrifice/

From the article: At the end of the day then, the most important question we should ask ourselves when evaluating our dreams, desires, and goals, may not be, “What am I willing to do to attain them?” but “What am I willing to give up?”

Drive me crazy

I am not one to hate on other states. I have matured and will frankly just say that the state of Utah is not a place for me in the future. HOWEVER, I will say I freaking hate a number of driving patterns that run rampant here:
1. You try to switch lanes and the person next to you speeds up to block you.
2. The people in the fast lanes drive slower than anybody else
3. On a 2-3 lane highway, a line of cars will all drive at the exact same slow speed thus creating traffic and pissed off drives. This is called a "Utah road block."
4. Merging on to the freeway is a safety hazard since everyone thinks they are privileged to go before you.
5. Nobody yields to oncoming traffic. And don't bother trying to be safe at a round-a-bout. Someone is going to die. 
6. This is actually for the bike riders, but you aren't a car so get out of my lane
7. This is for pedestrians, I don't care if cars have to yield for you, stop running into the street while I am speeding down it. I will run you over and not feel bad.
8. And to the Utah Department of Transportation: Your roads are in a perpetual state of suckiness.
*Disclaimer: I am not trying to claim that California drivers are better by any means. But we at least collectively drive fast and will give you the chance to switch lanes....assuming you can keep up.

Creatures

This is a two part post which will be separated by the pictures.
First thought: I am a creature of habit. I think most people are to a degree. Its the same reason that when given the option of sitting anywhere we want in class, church or wherever; we ALWAYS pick the same seats. I extend this neurosis to my parking spot as well. Last night some Buick Lesabre with Idaho plates parked in my spot. It threw off my whole evening, and I am still a little bitter towards her....GET OUT OF MY PARKING SPOT!!!

Don't mind the toilet paper, whats important is that you can see where I park my car on the regular.

Second Thought: I live in a basement apartment and so occasionally you can find an 8 legged creature (spider) in an obscure corner of a window or storage closet. Typically I don't mind and I let it live. HOWEVER,  as soon as that spider decides to make his presence known while I am going to the bathroom or getting in/out of the shower, THAT SPIDER MUST DIE!!! I don't need some spider creeping up on my while im in various stage of undress. LIVE AND LET DIE!

Reading is FUNdamental

I really used to enjoy reading. Even as a little kid I picked up reading really fast and won school awards for being on top of it. This was all good and well, until I hit high school and college. School has absolutely ruined my love of reading, and every year I feel like it is getting worse. I have so much required reading that when I have a free moment, I would rather not have to pick up another book. There are so many books that I would love to be able to sit down and just ready, but anytime I start a book, I remember how much I hate reading now and it just ruins it for me. It probably doesn't help that I have almost no attention span thanks to some medication I take, but I really only feel like that is a contributing factor. I would love to get my love of reading back, there are so many books I want to read like: The Art of War, Men are from Mars Women are from Venus, and War and Peace (in Russian). But I know that until I feel like I can enjoy reading, which probably won't happen until after I finish school for good, I will probably continue to loathe reading a book.

Yes Man

If I am not interested in doing something or going somewhere, I usually will speak my mind...at the least I make up a very polite excuse why I won't be able to attend some event. However, I have noticed a recent trend with certain people getting me to say yes to anything. Anytime someone has called me while I am sleeping/just waking up from sleeping (naps included) I am far more likely to say YES to pretty much any request. It isn't until 5 minutes after the conversation that I even realize what I agreed to. Luckily no one has asked me to rob a bank or smoke crack after a Sunday nap. To those who have taken advantage of this: shame on you, especially for waking me up from my slumber!!

Young is a state of mind

Just a quick thought: Have you ever thought about what the 12 year old version of yourself would think of your current self? Think about how different you look, the choices you have made and where you are now in life. Would the 12 year old version of yourself think you are a dork or cool, successful or even just a disappointment? This hit me the other day and my immediate thought would be the 12 year old version of myself would think, "so I DO get skinny at some point!" All other 12 year old Eric thoughts I will keep to myself.
Separate note: On the way home from work I saw some guy picking his nose hard core. Same car trip later, I saw some guy drinking fry sauce right out of the container (fry sauce is a Utah based condiment consisting of Ketchup and Mayonnaise) Great ride home!

i didn't have any pictures of 12 year old Eric. So I put baby Eric...I was a dang cute kid!

Two wrongs don't make a right

Much to my dismay classes started up again today. While going to campus I start to walk through a cross walk. Near the end, a fool in a beat up chevy decides he thinks its a 4-way stop and he just darts into the road nearly running me over. He missed and rather than make a big deal I continue to walk. At this point, the genious decides to put his car in reverse to go back behind the lines and nearly backs over me...Congrats sir, you are king moron for the day!

....On a separate note, I am rocking some sick Jack Purchell's (converse shoes) today, however, I can't seem to keep the left shoe tied. I refuse to double knot it mostly out of pride, so instead I walk around feeling like a 4 year old who can't tie his own shoes....yay for me!!

Being productive at work part 2

The toilets at my work hate me. The bathroom sinks too! We just moved into a brand new building that uses the sensors on both the toilets and sinks. The only problem is that while I am going to the bathroom the toilet keeps flushing on me, which at times can be startling because of how loud it is. The sinks don't even register that I am there. Occassionaly, when they do turn on it will only last for a few seconds...its quite obnoxious.

On a separate note, there is a girl on my sales team that we frequently accuse of being a hipster. So in her honor we decided to have hipster appreciation day, which consisted of me and some of the guys on my team dressing like the friends in her photos....this is what resulted

Key elements: the should bag, thick framed glasses, either cuffed jeans or ripped jean shorts, I even straightened my hair for this one although you can only see part of my bangs

Chicago is stealing my friend away :(

Things typically hit me a little late. I usually don't feel sore after a work out for well over 24 hours, I don't peel after a sunburn for a couple of weeks, and I usually don't get too sad about things until a week later. However, today was the last day I got to hang out with Alyson (my little sister) for a while since she and her husband are moving to Chicago. After spending her last night in Utah playing rockband at my house, she left and I started crying because I don't know when Ill see her next. I know its not like i'm never going to get to hang out with her again, but it still sucks to see her go. To my other siblings; I'm not trying to play favorites right now, but I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Alyson....
Als,
I'm gonna miss you. It sucks thinking I have to be in Utah without you now. I am going to miss hanging out on Tuesday and Thursday and just going out to eat with you (how are we not fatter?) I am going to miss you randomly coming over and just letting yourself in my apartment. And I am going to miss just having you around. Have fun in Chicago. n a positive note, people around here won't think you're my girlfriend or wife anymore....so I got that going for me.
Love,
Eric

Dressed for Success II

Dressing up for church is slowly becoming one of my favorite activities

The pipe is from a costume store and I did NOT bring it to church mom 

I totally forgot

My short term memory is sooo shot, its not even funny. Somebody tells me their name, I forget it in two seconds. I go to the grocery store without a shopping list and totally forget what I needed and then end up buying random crap. To remedy this, I now put everything on my phone's calendar or google calendar. I even had to remind myself to write about this, because I actually meant to blog about this yesterday but forgot......
(Hey Kristyn and Alyson, did you notice this post was shorter.....you're welcome!)

Tetris, Life, and Love....actually Love has nothing to do about it.

I woke up this morning, groggy as usual and feeling somewhat relieved today would be the last 11 hour work day I would be pulling until next week. For whatever reason I started to think of the random quotes I have used over the past years. I don't know why, but I started to tie them into the game Tetris. Now, Im not going to pretend that this is an original thought, but I don't ever remember looking up something inspirational about that game but here is what I thought, "Life is like the game of tetris. Random crap keeps coming at you, but its up to you to decide how its going to fit in." Later today I looked online and apparently a lot of people make Tetris comparisons, but still...there it is, my inspirational thought of the day.

Summer time treats

I have no problem admitting that many of the things I still enjoy doing I did as a child. For example flying kites, coloring, and on a recent date I even made paper boats. However, today I was super bored and wanted a popsicle. I thought I would get creative and make my own using punch and an ice tray. If memory serves me, there is even an episode of care bears that teaches you how to do this. Anyway, I didn't have any punch mix ( I do have juice boxes but that's different) and so I thought I would get creative and use a can of Mt.Dew. Since I used Mt.Dew I wanted to call them "adult popsicles," but that sounded dirty for some reason. In fact while I am thinking about it, adding the word "adult" in front of any noun or activity makes it dirty; adult movies, adult books etc....but I digress back to my original point; Mt.Dew popsicles. Here is the proof of my creativity...

I would like to point out that a standard sized can of Mt.Dew filled all but 4 of the trays

Nothing says Freedom like balloons

I meant to post this a while ago, but forgot...deal with it.
Anyway, the Friday before the 4th of July, this is what I ran into on the way to work...it was pretty dope, especially because a lot of them were flying really really low.

Being productive at work...

One of my sales people sent this to me today; it made me laugh...

    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
    computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
   you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
    when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
    rest of the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
    want to have to restart my collection...again.

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
    if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear
    I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
    answer when they call.

    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
    Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
    and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
    prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
    sisters!

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
    and you can wear them forever.

    22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
    know what time it is.

    23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
    keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
    Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3
    feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Dressed for Success

A friend of mine recently noticed some of my more creative outfits and asked me to post a couple of pictures she took pictures of them. Read the description underneath to understand the point of each one.

More and More I am wanting to dress like people from the 50's, so to keep that going I even rocked a real flower in my lapel. What you don't see is that I wore navy socks with yellow, white and green colors in them to match with my tie and pocket square.

At work we were asked to go business casual since some clients were coming to visit. I wore a bow tie, which I tied myself...funny enough the clients saw me walking in with lunch for my team and LOVED the bow tie

A Little More Classy Than A Birthday Suit.....

(For the record I would have posted this a week ago, but my computer has been stupid, but I digress) This past year I have really become obsessed with wearing suits. I used to hate getting dressed up for church and events, but my attitude is completely different now. I feel more mature and snazzy in a suit. I kind of wish I had the type of job that required me to be a little more dressed up, because I wouldn't mind it at all, I look rather debonair these days.. This new attitude with dressing up has been inspired by some of my most recent idols of fashion. My brother would like to take claim to this, although I do bug him for fashion advice frequently, but not so secretly here are the men (both real and fictitious) that I try and model my style after; Gene Kelly, James Bond, Neil Caffrey (from the show White Collar)

Yes I bought an umbrella and fedora and want to learn to tap dance too

I almost always wear a pocket square now, and taught myself to tie a legit bow tie

No comments needed...so SICK!!!

My next suit purchase

Tie clip, another fun addition. I also rock colorful socks, but that's not necessarily shown :)

this is essentially what I look like every Sunday...but with curly hair.

Sadness, Grief, Disappointment, and Trials......

I really couldn't think of a creative title for this post. Often times I try to use a pun or something, but today seemed a little different. I have caught a cold and oddly enough I feel like my most profound thoughts tend to come when I am inoculated with cold medicine. However, today I was thinking a lot about trials and disappointments. Some people believe life is pre-planned while others feel we are master's of our own destiny. But regardless of what you think, nobody knows what tomorrow is going to bring. And tomorrow could be the best day of our life or it could be the worst day of your life. You NEVER know. But what you can try and pre-plan is how are you going to react to whatever life throws at you. But even that is hard to do as well. How do you plan for the unseen? Here's the deal; life isn't fair. It was never meant to be. If it was fair, than it would provide no motivation for the advantaged to stay on top or the drive for the underdogs to work harder to achieve greatness. Frankly, I am glad for all of the crap I have had to deal with and continue to deal with (to some degree). Mentally, physically, spiritually, financially; all of these have been tested and stretched to their capacity in my 27 years of life. I think sometimes the hardest stuff is what we build up to be awesome in our heads and the really we just disappoint ourselves with unachievable visions. One of the saddest things I have picked up on though is that often times when we are going through trials we often take out our frustrations and disappointments on those closest to us (sometimes without even realizing it). I know I have been a selfish friend, and when I am depressed, I have been a down right jerk to a lot of the people I love. They don't deserve it. Their biggest fault in the matter was knowing me and being around me at that time. Why is it that rather than cry on the shoulder of those closest to us, we tend to spit in their face instead? Is it pride? Is it the need to avoid being vulnerable? I can't explain why I have done it. And right now I would even like to extend an apology to anyone who was trying to help me in my time of need and got hurt by me. But for myself reading this post again in the future, or anyone reading this now who feels like life has handed you lemons, get over your pride. Life is too hard to let our pride get in the way of really letting others into our lives and help us. The people around you are around you because they love you and care about you. I am not ashamed to admit that in this year I have cried a few times to multiple people when things were rough. Pride is just dumb and makes you seem a lot more foolish than shedding some tears. Stop ignoring that fact and show some appreciation. Life in general won't stop slapping you in the face when you are down, trials won't stop coming, but through it all we all NEED the people around us.

Vertical Spooning

For some reason the couples in Utah tend to be a little over affectionate with one another. PDA in Utah runs rampant. I have nothing against a couple cuddling or holding hands, but what is incredibly awkward is what I have dubbed "vertical spooning." Vertical spooning is essentially when two people have an overly passionate and drawn out hug. And they aren't normal hugs; they tend to be a little more affectionate that it makes people uncomfortable when they see it. That type of hug only has place for a wife hugging a husband as he is about to go off to war or something dramatic. But instead, the students of Utah feel they need to do it when they are about to head off to class or are dropping them off after a date and so they must leave their boyfriend/girlfriend behind. Anyone who has lived in Provo knows what I am talking about, and if you have been one of those people then shame on you for subjecting the rest of the world to your awkward hugs. Here's the deal people, you going off to class is not a life changing event to where you feel you need to hold your significant other for an overly extended period of time. Just give your girlfriend/boyfriend a quick kiss, a 2 second squeeze and be on your way. If you are deeply embracing your significant other for longer than a couple of seconds; you have issues and you make life weird for everyone else. We all get that you are dating, but nobody wants to see you two awkward college kids pressed up against each other........gross.

A collection of Random Thoughts...

1. Driving trips are better when you have a mutual understanding with 1 or 2 other cars that you are racing. And then you all proceed to drive really fast....(not that I do it)
2. For someone who naturally can't sit still and who gets shaky occasionally, knowing how to do the robot really comes in handy (even while just sitting by the pool or in church)
3. Asking a waiter if you can give him a nickname sometimes leads to him telling you his life story...(Shout out to Bart at Iggy's Bar and Grill)
4. Long hair can be fun, but when it gets wet and you look like you have a nasty mullet, its gross.
5. Never ever take a big whiff of a scented candle labeled "Aquamarine." It will burn your nostrils.
6. A lot of guys pack more clothes than a lot of girls I know.
7. When you go on a double blind date with a friend and their answer to what did you think is, "It was fun hanging out with YOU tonight," it goes without saying that there won't be a second date.
8. For some reason, my inner thigh was more prone to sun burn than the rest of my body this past weekend....random

A little thought about nothing

I started this blog with the intent of just jotting down random stuff that comes in to my head. Now that I am not in school, I am not near my computer nearly as much, and consequently many of my random thoughts come and go with no one to share with. This blog was supposed to be just a way for me to vent through words, and if I make a few people laugh, so be it. However, I have noticed that when life gets busy, or especially scholastically busy,  there are longer periods of time in between each post. One thing I have learned from blog-stalking my older siblings' blogs, is that often times the beginning of a post starts with, "I know I haven't written anything in a while." I refuse to do that, because whether I write something every day, or once a month, it doesn't really matter in the long scheme of things. If I force myself to write more often, then I feel like things get rushed, and the blog post isn't as original as I would have otherwise intended. I'm not one to force thoughts, frankly thats just awkward. I fly by the seat of my pants (very weird saying by the way), and can only hope that at some point in my constant rambling, something coherent comes out. But then again, when the person I am writing to is myself, and my mind isn't a very coherent thing anyway, then wouldn't a more randomly and poorly thought out post be more in tune with my audience?

Pet Peeves Volume 1

I'm not much of a complainer...ok, I can be, but whatever. So firstly an anti-shout out to the person who decided that the button fly on men's jeans was a good idea. Lets be honest, one of the biggest perks of being male is that we can use a urinal instead of a stall every time. Its quick and convenient. The button fly removes much of that convenience. I am not trying to be weird about it, but any guy reading this knows exactly what I am talking about and probably secretly agrees.
I did have a second pet peeve to discuss, but right now I can't honestly think of it. I got busy thinking about the button fly and my hatred toward it, and now I completely forgot which one I was going to bring up.
Look forward to more rants about pet peeves in the future.

Hansel! He's so hot right now!

(For my older readers, the title is from a movie called Zoolander. Ask your kids about it) While I was attending the LDS Business College, my little sister and I got asked to be in a photo shoot for their new campus. Being one of two guys there, my pictures ended up being all over the brochures for the campus. Even now my handsome mug can be seen in LDS churches across the nation. Here are a couple of examples:

Since that day, It has really got me thinking about the people I see in other websites. I don't know how to make it happen, but I would love to be the cheesy face you see on hotel websites of someone checking in, or the picture of someone at a business meeting I figure; why not? I already have modeling experience now for a college!!