You can look, but don't touch

Before I explain the story behind this blog's title, which is borderline inappropriate ha ha ha, I'll preface by saying this past year my brother inspired me to go on a diet, which has resulted in me losing a lot of weight. I am really happy with the weight loss, however, none of my clothes fit me anymore. A problem worth having I assure you. So I have been bringing my clothes to a tailor to have them altered. This past Friday I was at the tailor to pick up some slacks that were worked on. When I got there, only 2/3 pants were ready so I was in her changing room trying them on to make sure they fit right. Just as I am putting my regular jeans back on, the tailor's 4 year old granddaughter comes bursting into the room while in the background I could hear, "NO, DON'T GO IN THERE!" All I could do is laugh. Embarrassed about the intrusion, the tailor apologizes and then tells me that the other pants will be ready in 30 minutes, so I agree to come back later. When I come back there is a bride just walking out of the changing room and so I go in to try on my last pair of pants. As I am taking off my jeans, I hear the bride tell the tailor that she left the dress on the floor in the changing room because she didn't have a hanger and the tailor told that it wasn't a problem. As she is saying this the door starts to open. This time I am just standing there in a t-shirt, underwear, and holding my pants in front of me. So I make a slight cough and you have never seen a little old lady move so fast out of there screaming, "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!!!" Did I feel embarrassed? Nope, I just laughed the whole time. When I got out and the tailor was ringing me up, she said she was going going to give me a 10% discount for having come so often, I was tempted at asking for another 5% for the peep show she got :)

She Drives me Crazy....

Just a quick disclaimer; If you are reading this and there are no pictures, that is because I am writing this on a computer that has none of my pictures. I plan on putting some up later, so if there are pictures included then disregard this disclaimer and just keep reading.
Second disclaimer; I have found out my family is reading this, so for the sake of the Thacker family, and their Larson family affiliates I would just like to say that the views expressed in this blog are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, positions or strategies of the Thacker's and/or Larson's.
Now that the legal jargon is in place, I will continue with my random rant. So my current automobile has been a good ride, but much like or family's dog, she is getting old and run down (no offense to Roxy our poodle). I am not seriously looking for a new car, but I have started to research. BUT, with prospect of adding a new car into my life I thought I would take a walk down memory lane with my previous rides.

1st car from 2002-2003. Year: 1989,  Make: Acura, Model: Integra, Nickname: The Thacura. Unique characteristics. Missing front left wheel hubcap, burned oil stains on the back, dent in the hood from my older sister running into a dodge durango in '99, No door handle on the outside driver side, Dashboard blinked when turn signal on, clock and radio preset always reset when the car was turned off, car over heats when speeds exceed 65 MPH, and for added flair I put a HURLEY sticker right below the integra sign that looked like it was part of the car.

The Thacura

2nd car 2004-Present. Year: 2000, Make: Volkswagon, Model: Jetta, Nickname: My Manjetta. Unique characteristics....too be honest its not so much the characteristics but how the car is described by me and those who see it. For example it has a roof rack but to make it sound more manly I describe as an aggressive roof rack. Other characteristic is its ability to make guys in trucks drive up to see if a cute chick is driving only then to see the curly haired male in the drivers seat and have them speed off embarrassed and angry

This was honestly the only picture of the Man-Jetta I had on my computer

So, as I search for a new ride I am torn between wanting to increase my manliness and get a truck, or be economical and get something with better gas mileage.....I'm sure there will be more posts in the future once I actually decide what car to get, and if I buy a car......then again I could drop the car and just keep cruising on my Vespa :)

HAPPY CANCERVERSARY

After surgery to remove the cancer. I weighed 127lbs

Started to lose my hair to chemo so I shaved it into a Mohawk and died it blue

Mr.clean!

The worst part of going bald is losing your eyebrows too....it looks weird

So today marks by 7 year cancerversary. People ask my why do I celebrate when I got diagnosed with cancer? The answer is that because I was diagnosed in time I didn't die, and I have had some life changing experiences from having cancer that I treasure. I can't wish it never happened, because that won't make the fact I almost died go away, but I can take the lessons and experiences I learned from it and hopefully be a positive influence on others who I run into in the future.

If you haven't ever heard my cancer story, here it is.....

I was in Russia serving as a missionary. I felt tired all the time, was losing weight and was very pale. I was serving in Novosibirsk, the center of Siberia, Russia so I thought it must all be caused by a virus I caught or the lack of sunshine. One day I was standing outside waiting for some other missionaries and I felt like a bright light got flashed in my eyes. It was really hard to see. I thought maybe the sun from the snow and a nearby building reflected in my eyes poorly so I decided not to worry about it, but a few days had past and one eye never got better. I was basically blind in my right eye. I decided I needed to meet with my Mission President who was in the same city we were living in, and who was an eye doctor. After the examination President Lawrence (my mission president) told me that what has happened here is very unusual for a person my age and that I had an eye hemorrhage. His neighbor there was any eye doctor so he had him check me out too, only to have him say it’s the same thing and that if I didn’t get eye surgery soon it could be permanent. He felt it would be better if I went back to the states to get it taken care of. It was speculated that I could be back in Russia within in a month. I flew out within 24 hours of finding out about my eye problem. When I landed my mom and family were shocked at how white in color and thin I was. My shirt color was hanging three inches below his neck. His skin nearly the same color as my shirt. The next Monday morning I started with one doctor’s appointment after another. I was the youngest person in those doctor's offices by at least 40 years. Through all the appointments and tests and within a week’s worth of time we found that my eye hemorrhage was caused by anemia, the anemia caused by slow internal bleeding, and the bleeding caused by a cancer the size of a Nerf football that was wrapped around my lower intestines. This is why I was losing weight and becoming pale. I was then diagnosed with stage 4, fast growing, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer. The doctor’s were shocked over the random eye hemorrhage which had a 1% chance of happening with anemia, and its only because of that they caught the cancer in time. When the doctor told me and my mom I had cancer, he was very somber about it, my mom cried, and maybe because I was recently a missionary it didn’t really phase me other than to just say, “ok, so what do we do next?” I think it shocked the doctor and my mom that I wasn’t more emotional about it, but frankly when someone tells you that you could potentially be dead within the month, there is no point in freaking out and crying. I chose to have a good attitude and just deal with it as it comes. My surgery was scheduled with an awesome surgeon Dr.Shafer and another doctor who my family knew very well from church, Dr.Chamberlin. The surgery was over 4 hours long. In fact I remember them saying 6 hours, but I was kind of out of it at that time. During the surgery the main surgeon was shocked how bad it was, but our doctor friend was an internist who specialized in that area and he was able to get more of the cancer than it was thought possible. Dr.Chamberlin usually works out of a neighboring hospital but earlier in the month had applied for clearance there, and it turns out after my surgery he never had a reason to use it again. I was in the hospital for a week recovering from the surgery. Once I started chemo I was able to move around, but Chemo drugs are a freakin’ roller coaster. Even on your up moments, you never feel 100%, you just feel better than you did earlier. And on your lows you just lay there with no energy or motivation to move. For me, going through chemo and having cancer provided me opportunity for many inappropriate jokes that made me laugh and others feel very uncomfortable. But that’s how I chose to deal with it. During the treatments, my eye eventually healed on its own too which was nice, because being blind sucks. Its now 7 years later, I am healthy, insurance companies are still scared of me, I have an awesome scar the length of my stomach, and feel blessed for what transpired during the month of April 2004. If you’re not spiritual, you may chalk everything up to awesome coincidences, and good luck. That’s fine. But for me, I had the most spiritual experience of my life as I saw the hand of God in saving my life, and I will forever be grateful for that opportunity.

Don't Mime me, I'm just passing through....

I started break dancing/popping around 7th and 8th grade. I am pretty on and off with how often I practice so I wouldn't say that I am way good at it, but I can hold my own with popping. I will say that ever since I started I have always wanted to travel to France and battle a mime there. For some reason a French mime just seems more legitimate than one here in the states. He would be standing there by the Eiffel tower just  entertaining the crowd and out of no where a kid from America steps in and just smokes him, followed by me shouting, "Hey Mime! In your face....now get a real job!!" Actually I don't speak French so maybe I would just mysteriously fade back into the crowd leaving that mime to reflect on his life career choice and leaving me all the happier for having accomplished one of my life goals.

It's a nice day for a white wedding...

This past weekend my little sister got married. I am incredibly happy for her and I actually do like the guy she married. People tend to ask me a lot what I think of him; Mike you are a great guy, so take care of my sister! I don't have any pictures right now, but as soon as I do I will post them. Here are just a few of my thoughts and observations that came the wedding:
-# of times people asked me "so when are you going to be next?" or "when are you getting married?"=15
-# of times people asked "are you dating anyone?" or "Why aren't you dating anyone?"=20
-# of times people referenced the conference talk about guys my age getting married=8
-weddings are a lot of work for the parents, and to my mom especially I give a big shout out for all the stuff you did for it.
-I spent a lot of money at H&M, they have now doubled my wardrobe :)
-It hailed in California the night before the wedding. Freaking nuts! It almost never hails...it somewhat stung to get hit by them.
-I have never had a better opportunity to quote the God Father..."on this the day of your daughters wedding..." it was funny to me...and probably exclusively to me.
-When asked to be the MC on a whim, I say really random and weird stuff.... embarrassing but entertaining.
-I got to introduce my parents and some relatives to the following youtube videos..always sentimental remind me, batman vanishing, sexy sax man, crusty crust, and Mario kart is back-Remi...extended family sure loved them!
-Every time I hugged my sister, she and my mom would cry...if it wasn't a tender moment, I would have laughed and that odd ability. But, in all honesty, Alyson I love you to death, and I wish you the best with your marriage!!!!!!!!
Now enjoy the following wedding themed clip...

What's the big idea?!?

I'm home sick from work and school today and with nothing really to do, and being completely doped up on cold medicine, I decided what better time to start typing out random stuff. Firstly I would like to address I love how my blog URL reads; THacker THoughT doT bloGspoT doT com. I capitalized the letters I like to place emphasis on. Originally I wanted to call it Thackers Thoughts or even just Thackers Thought, however, both were already taken (and unused I would like to point out.) But I am ok with it because the current one reads off in a more fun way. My other random thought of the day comes from the fact that often times I think of a joke or some action that in my head seems like it would be really awesome, but after trying it out it turns out to be completely lame. Example would be a few weeks ago I was at my church building putting away these big round tables. In my head I thought it would be way cool to run and jump with the table and ride it like a ferris wheel. It started out OK until I reached the peak of the ride and lost all momentum. I then stalled for a moment and then started to fall over while still on the table and almost landed on my roommate who felt the table scrape his shirt on the way down. So not only did my ride fail, but I almost squashed my roommate. Not to be defeated, I tried again and was successful in riding the table like a ferris wheel but it wasn't even that fun anyway. To make things easier I have made a very realistic drawing of what transpired:

All my eggs in a basket (not easter related)

Before I continue with my original random tangent, I would just like to give a shout out to google for the shear fact that you can type any random phrase and actually find a picture for it. In this case "man holding flowers at the door." However, I digress. So the title of this thought comes from the fact that anytime I get excited about a girl, my mom tells me, "don't put all your eggs in one basket." However, lately my reply has been that frankly there aren't many baskets I want to put my eggs in....which sounds kind of weird but I think it gets the point across. What even brings this up is that I heard a talk today talking about how people my age need to date and get married. When you're a Mormon male at the age of 27, the flood gates of people harassing you about when you are going to get married open up. For those who know me best it comes at no surprise to say that frankly I don't date a lot. For those who don't know me that well then I will tell you up front that I don't date a lot. It comes down to the fact that I am picky, lazy, and sometimes I just wuss out. I wouldn't say I have a particular type since I have dated all sorts of girls, but I just know what I like when I see it, and more often than not, I just don't see too many that I really like...its kind of like buying jeans (not to degrade women down to a pair of jeans, because I take my clothes very seriously as well.) I am trying to change my attitude and date more, hang out with a wider variety of people. I have probably even been on more dates so far this year than I did all of last year. It sounds pathetic, but I just don't see the point in spending time/money on someone who I am not attracted to in that oh so special way. Being picky does more than just limit the number of girls I ask out, because it also reduces the number of girls who might like me back. Whenever I think about that concept, I am reminded of the time a women at work leaned over from her cubicle to interrupt a conversation I was having with some friends to tell me it was probably my personality that turns off women...she then disappeared back to her cubicle...it was a weird day. I don't invest too much into what she is saying because the women was crazy and looked like a turkey. But if a girl is going to be turned off by my personality, then so be it, and she is probably a lesbian anyway (kidding). In all seriousness though I don't care if this post makes me sound like a 16 year old who hasn't been on a date in his life, if I have taken someone out I don't believe in the dating game so i'm going to be obvious about my feelings so just be honest with me in return, and if I have we have gone out/dated and it doesn't work out I get over things pretty quick so don't act weird because that will make me wonder how I was ever attracted to you.
Side note- I don't believe in proof reading or punctuation so this is probably riddled with errors.
Back to the point. Dating sucks. I enjoy spending time with the opposite sex, even if they are just friends. I am trying to date more and open my mind to a wider variety of people. I can't read girls and their signals so I have no idea when to ask someone out, put my arm around them, or just give them a nice hand shake at the end of the night.
At the end of the day I know I have to do my part, and I know that eventually I will find someone who will adore me as much as I adore the females in my life, but none of that ever makes the world of dating any more fun.

Early to Bed and Super Early to Rise!

This time is actually very close to when I woke up today...except for it was the AM.

Ever since I was little I have always woken up early. As a kid it was primarily so I could be the first one to the TV on Saturday morning so I could watch my cartoons. However, now as an adult (I use the term loosely), I am still waking up early. And by early I mean before my alarm is set to go off for work. There are no good cartoons these days, so I know that isn't the reason my body wants to wake me up. Once awake, there is no going back to sleep; its awful. Normally I try to wake up just before 7 to get ready for work. Today I was up at 5:30 AM. So what did I do with my extra time? I did push ups, conceived a very elaborate plan to dress up like a co-worker (inspired by the office), developed a plan to end world hunger, and then made some scrambled eggs. The ironic thing is at this point in the day now, I am not really that far ahead of my usual schedule. With more time available, I take my time doing everything. So really at the end of the day I am just more exhausted from having been up longer, upset that I can't sleep in, and when I think about it I realize how stupid modern day cartoons are.