Take a Picture, it'll Last Longer

I genuinely wish I took more pictures of things. In high school I took a photography class and it was by far one of the most fun things I have ever done. We got to develop our own film in the dark room and everything. I loved it. On a side note, even more than taking the pictures, I love being in them. Any time I am with my older sister Kristyn (who loves taking pictures herself) I try and get in as many of hers as I can. I prefer to just make goofy faces, and she eats it up too so everyone wins. However, back to my photography rant. I love pictures, especially super creative ones or ones that capture a great image of nature or somebody's personality. At home I will flip through my parent's national geographic magazines just to see what gorgeous pictures people take (not the naked African natives either....pervs). I sometimes get bothered when somebody who has a $1000 camera just takes basic pictures and calls themselves a photographer. They lack talent and creativity. They just have good equipment is all. But I guess I can't hate them too much, because at least they are making the effort to go out and actually take pictures. I think I need to develop my love of it into a hobby and actually snap some shots.

Say Cheese!

Clepto

I was going to make this a facebook status, but I recently just posted something there and I didn't want to replace my status all too soon. Instead I decided to make a blog entry about it. This eventually will make it to facebook and maybe even twitter...who knows, the options are endless (not really, there is twitter and facebook and thats it.) Essentially I just wanted to openly admit that in that past I have stolen toilet paper from a public restroom. That's right, I straight up took a roll and ran with it. Here is the kicker; I don't feel bad about it, and frankly if a situation arose where I was out of toilet paper at my house and didn't want to fork over the funds to buy more, I would steal again! I used to do this at my old job almost once a week because my roommates would not take their turn buying a roll, so instead I was forced to steal. This is how Aladin felt when he stole an apple from the fruit merchant. I realize there are plenty of issues involved with this though, I feel the biggest issue is my willingness to use toilet paper of such low quality. Lets be honest, companies and government owned locations do not stock their stalls with Charmin Ultra Soft. No instead, its single ply, recycled, sandpaper-esque material. Step it up folks. This is 2012, Charmin should be standard.

Punch a celebrity in the face

Most of my posts come from situational humor. In this case, I would venture to say my post comes from situational loathing. There are certain "celebrities" that movie studios and television networks continue to give jobs to, but the world would be a lot better off if they just disappeared and were never seen nor heard form again. They are basically the celebrities you wish you could punch in the face if given the opportunity. Your list may differ from mine, and you may not agree with my entries, but that's because you are wrong. So without further ado, here is my list:
Queen Latifa
Beyonce
Miley Cyrus
Justin Bieber
Queen Latifa again
Leonardo Dicaprio
Paris Hilton
The entire Kardashian family, but specifically Kim Kardashian
Lindsey Lohan
And have I mentioned Queen Latifa?

I chose this picture because it follows my thought process, and has a cute picture of Emma Watson, my celebrity crush from 2011. There has been no celebrity crush of 2012 selected yet. 

Adventures in the John Wayne Airport

I'm home in California for my Christmas vacation. Before my dad starts using me as free slave labor, I thought I would regale you all with a tale of my adventures in the John Wayne Airport. As with any good adventure, I will start it off as any good story should be started...So there I was, casually walking down the baggage claim section of the airport, trying to find my baggage carousel. The sun was shining, and the wind blowing outside. Apparently some people's private wind was blowing inside too. Ladies and Gentlemen, I was the victim of crop dusting. For those not familiar with the term, its when somebody breaks wind and then walks around spreading their toxic fumes. I know who the culprit was given the fact there was only one person walking in front of me at the time. It was a short, portly, blonde woman wearing a pink velour track suit. Disrespectful. Immediately I grimaced because there is no point in hiding my emotions when falling victim to such acts. As soon as she turned toward a different carousel the smell disappeared, which only further my validation of who it was. Sweetheart, your farts don't smell of roses so please keep them to yourself or in the privacy of your car. Be aware of your surroundings and the people standing less than 10 feet behind you. Had I been holding a can of febreeze I would have sprayed you like I would my roommates.
That being said I have also dispelled the myth that women don't fluff (a term my dad was use.)
Well all of that aside, Merry Christmas everyone!

Dream on! (Read it like Aerosmith, you will feel that much cooler)

Maybe its because I have been taking nyquil before bed, or maybe its because I just have an awesome imagination, but lately I have been waking up having had some crazy awesome dreams. The kicker is that I can't remember them five minutes after being awake. My little sister Alyson used to always google dream interpretations to try and found out the meaning of hers. Whenever she would tell me her dream I would just find ways to interpret her dreams that she is secretly a lesbian. She doesn't tell me her dreams anymore ha ha. But enough about her, I love that I have been having cool dreams. Psychologically I don't know what any of them mean, nor do I know why I can't remember the details of them, but I am just glad I wake up feeling refreshed and that I didn't pull an Andre the Giant and just not wake up at all....(Andre the giant is the big dude in The Princess Bride for those who are not familiar with their pro wrestler history. And seriously, he died in his sleep which is why I even mentioned him anyway. Come to think of it, that is an awful way to end a blog post so instead Ill let the last thing you read be MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!)

101 Arabian Nights

It is not uncommon for people to tell me I look Jewish or Middle Eastern. In Russia, people would always ask me if I was a jew, but then were somehow very disappointed when I told them I was Mormon. My sister-in-law always calls me ER-ab-IC which when said correctly sounds like arabic. Its a rather clever play on my name. Not too long ago I grew out a 3 week beard and I was told that I looked like a young moses (very famous jew). Not too long ago I sported a fake mustache for a christmas card photo and looked more middle eastern then ever thought possible. Ill share the Christmas card photos later, but in the mean time, enjoy Arabian/Jewish Eric....

I plead the 5th

The title of this post won't make sense until later. Its really meant to be a description of the location of Today's event. SO, for those who aren't familiar, I gave up eating sugar and carbs a little over a year ago and did it for a solid 3-4 months. Eventually, I started to eat carbs again, but I still hardly ever eat sugar. Well today I decided to eat a box of Hostess Donnettes.....almost the whole box that is. Fast forward 20 minutes and my stomach was not happy with me. Let me preface this next part by saying that I work in a building with 5 floors plus a basement. Anyway, at 10:30 am I decide to head to the basement bathroom for a little bit of privacy...no luck, all the stalls were being used. I head to the first floor, all being used. The second floor, all being used. The 3rd floor, all being used. I refused to go to the 4th floor because thats where our Tech Support people work and frankly they are gross, so I skipped to the 5th floor and found 1 stall available. The 5th floor is where all the executives for the company work. Well after I took care of some stuff I flushed the toilet only to then have it clog on me. So there I am using the executive bathroom and I plugged up the toilet. So what did I do? I quickly washed my hands and ran back down to my desk on the second floor......I am praying there are no security cameras outside the bathroom, I choose to hide from my problems ha ha ha......crap! (pun!!)

ps. even the 5th floor uses single ply toilet paper here, and I hate them for that.....man up and by some Charmin people