Sadness, Grief, Disappointment, and Trials......

I really couldn't think of a creative title for this post. Often times I try to use a pun or something, but today seemed a little different. I have caught a cold and oddly enough I feel like my most profound thoughts tend to come when I am inoculated with cold medicine. However, today I was thinking a lot about trials and disappointments. Some people believe life is pre-planned while others feel we are master's of our own destiny. But regardless of what you think, nobody knows what tomorrow is going to bring. And tomorrow could be the best day of our life or it could be the worst day of your life. You NEVER know. But what you can try and pre-plan is how are you going to react to whatever life throws at you. But even that is hard to do as well. How do you plan for the unseen? Here's the deal; life isn't fair. It was never meant to be. If it was fair, than it would provide no motivation for the advantaged to stay on top or the drive for the underdogs to work harder to achieve greatness. Frankly, I am glad for all of the crap I have had to deal with and continue to deal with (to some degree). Mentally, physically, spiritually, financially; all of these have been tested and stretched to their capacity in my 27 years of life. I think sometimes the hardest stuff is what we build up to be awesome in our heads and the really we just disappoint ourselves with unachievable visions. One of the saddest things I have picked up on though is that often times when we are going through trials we often take out our frustrations and disappointments on those closest to us (sometimes without even realizing it). I know I have been a selfish friend, and when I am depressed, I have been a down right jerk to a lot of the people I love. They don't deserve it. Their biggest fault in the matter was knowing me and being around me at that time. Why is it that rather than cry on the shoulder of those closest to us, we tend to spit in their face instead? Is it pride? Is it the need to avoid being vulnerable? I can't explain why I have done it. And right now I would even like to extend an apology to anyone who was trying to help me in my time of need and got hurt by me. But for myself reading this post again in the future, or anyone reading this now who feels like life has handed you lemons, get over your pride. Life is too hard to let our pride get in the way of really letting others into our lives and help us. The people around you are around you because they love you and care about you. I am not ashamed to admit that in this year I have cried a few times to multiple people when things were rough. Pride is just dumb and makes you seem a lot more foolish than shedding some tears. Stop ignoring that fact and show some appreciation. Life in general won't stop slapping you in the face when you are down, trials won't stop coming, but through it all we all NEED the people around us.